Friday, November 15, 2013

Children, Grandchildren and other random thoughts

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to have children.  I wanted to have children of my own, but I also wanted to adopt. Of course, when I was very young I thought six boys would be perfect.  I was one of six, three boys and three girls, so six was an obvious number.  I was not a happy child, and I blamed that on the fact that I was not male, hence six boys.  Don't worry, I figured it out eventually - read how here (if you are interested - and you should be).

I was lucky enough to have children, two boys and one girl.  If I have one regret it is that I didn't adopt at least one.  I wanted to.  And it would have been the perfect answer to balancing out my litter - two of each, after all, sisters are special.  However, my husband at that time did not want to adopt.

Aside:  That is, the man I was married to at that time did not want to adopt, NOT- at that time, the man I was married to didn't want to adopt. How strange the English language is!

I am not sure why I was so keen on adoption.  Considering that I had a less than happy childhood, yet I still considered as part of a family was the best way to grow up.  I am guessing that was almost entirely due to my siblings.  Perhaps also, the enormous amount of reading I did as a child, all too many dealing with orphans and step parents and miserable lonely children. Or maybe it was because I was not a happy child, I wanted to compensate by making other children happy.

Like any mother, I love my children more than words can possibly describe.  So when my daughter, the first of my children to reproduce, was pregnant I was very worried that I would not love my grandchildren as much as I love my children.  I need not have worried.  For all of you out there who are not yet grandmother's, trust me.  It is so different.  I love my grandchildren, each and every one of them, every bit as much as I love my children and they are all so very different - as people are.  But it is a different kind of love.

There is the same unadulterated pride in everything they do, but not quite the same pain in things that they do not achieve.  Probably a much more balanced love.  And of course the grandparental right to spoil them. My children are lucky that I live so far away or their children would not just be spoilt, they would be ruined!

Although I didn't have the six boys I originally planned, I compensated and have now got 6 grandsons, and just one granddaughter.

Update: As of June 2014 I have one more granddaughter!